How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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