you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
