By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
