Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
