Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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