you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
