idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
