when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize