I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
vagina is talking i cant
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
