What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
