I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
