Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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