ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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