Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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