considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
