Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
