hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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