plz talk dirty to me
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
