I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
