is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
