I'm drive I can fine osifer
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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