Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
