I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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