So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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