Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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