it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize