sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
