I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
