anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
