You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
