Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
