He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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