Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
