Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
last night I used snow as a chaser
I smell like Dick and happiness
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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