If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
