eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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