This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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