Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
