I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
