Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
two words...techno handjob
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
