omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i believe in u and ur pee
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
