Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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