so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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