Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize