Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize