Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
