I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
