Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't deserve a penis
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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