You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
