Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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