"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I need help removing her.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
