do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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