i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
