I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
