There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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