it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you would pick up someone in the library
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
