Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize