I'm passing your future prison.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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