Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
